Painful Emotion

Seeing the letter I wrote to my grandparents really brought up some painful emotions from my childhood. No parent can protect their child from harm every minute of the day. They have to trust their child is going to act in an appropriate way and that other children will do the same. I had no idea that I was different when I was so little. I had no idea people could be so cruel, but I found out. Kids I thought were my friends weren't. Once I got to junior high things got worse and high school I have mixed reviews on. Today we call it bullying, but when I was a kid you were picked on or made fun of and I would say it's worse today for kids. I didn't understand why and I just wanted the other kids to like me. Looking back I could see it happening and I didn't adjust well to changes. I cried a lot as a child, I'm tearing up writing this. If I could go back and comfort myself, the child I was, I would let him know that he will be okay, he is a good, wonderful person. I want to hug the young me and comfort the me that never understood why this happened, that he is loved and cared for by family and friends. A child is filled with so much wonder and eagerness to explore, then fear and doubt are introduced, things change, we are told we can't do something and when we hear it enough we start to believe it. So I want the child I was to know he is loved and he is perfect just the way he is, that staying true to himself is what makes him special, it's what makes everyone special.